Welcome to The Funny Jokes!


Do you love jokes, riddles, quotes, insults and puns? Well you stumbled upon the right place. The Funny Jokes homepage is packed with hours and hours of humor, laughter and enjoyment. I have divided every genre in different categories, making it easy and straightforward for you to find the right joke, quote, etc. Enough chitchat from me, get going and explore.


Joke Categories


the funny jokes As the joker from batman says: “Why so serious?”
Drawn by Boredman

Laugh with your friends, family or your better half. I guarantee you a burst of laughter and aching laughter muscles. I strive to be the leading website in quality jokes you can use again and again. Are you searching for a category I do not yet have or know of a funny jokes, then do not hesitate to submit it.

Good laughter to all of you.



Definition of the word "Joke":


A joke is a humorous short story, quip or question. Robert Hetzron a well known linguist, offers this definition:

"A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final sentence, called the punchline… In fact, the main condition is that the tension should reach its highest level at the very end. No continuation relieving the tension should be added. As for its being "oral," it is true that jokes may appear printed, but when further transferred, there is no obligation to reproduce the text verbatim, as in the case of poetry."

You can read more about the definition of a jokes: right here and here: (Disambiguation)

The jokes and laughter


• It is scientifically proven that laughter has different health benefits.
• Laughter strengthens the immune system, as the laughter helps to increase the supply of white blood cells.
• Laughter increases the levels of endorphins which are the body's natural pain killer.
• Laughter is a form of internal exercise. The internal organs are exercised and massaged, which increases blood flow.
• Laughter is the best medicine against stress and makes us more positive about our surroundings.

However healthy or not, it is always a good thing to laugh when our normal life’s are stressful and we are constantly busy. So use your breaks wisely, use them to enjoy others company, read some jokes and have a good laugh out of it. I can guarantee you, that laughter gives you more energy, you will feel much more comfortable and stress-relieved after a session with laughter.

Let’s start off with some stupid but funny jokes



We all share jokes, quotes, proverbs and stories. No matter how much we have heard before, we want always a little more. This website is developed for this purpose only. So let us start with 22 stupid jokes. They are so stupid that they actually are funny. Enjoy.

1. “Is there a hole in your shoe?”
“No.”
“Then how did you get your foot into it?”

2. What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs and an eye patch?
Names!

3. A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons.
The flight attendant looks and says, “I´m sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion.”

4. What´s the stupidest animal in the jungle?
The polar bear.

5. A toothless termite walked into a pub and asked: “Is the bar tender here?”

6. Two mice chewing on a film roll.
One of them says. “I think the book was better.”

7. What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel.

8. Would you mind if I took a picture of you naked?
Sure, why not – if it isn’t too cold for you here?

9. What was a more important invention than the first telephone?
The second one.

10. A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up, he had 200.

11. My grandfather had the heart of lion and a lifetime ban from the New your city zoo.

12. Where did Lucy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.

13. Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
It was a nice ceremony… but the reception was amazing.

14. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey.

15. I remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, “Hey Jack, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

16. A man walks into a zoo.
The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It´s a ShihTzu.

17. Knock knock.
Who´s there?
Europe who?
No ur a poo haha.

18. Patient: "Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye."
Doctor: "I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking."

19. And the lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life”.
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

20. Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub.
The first one says, “Pass the soap.”
The second one says, “No soap, radio!”

21. Bill Gates farted in an apple store and stank up the entire place.
But it´s their own fault for not having windows.

22. “You know, it´s times like this I wished I had listened to what my mother has always told me.”
“What did she say?”
“I don´t know, I wasn´t listening.”

Want more stupid jokes? Here is a video with 25 dumb jokes from the guys at "List25"

Our joke categories you can enjoy on this site


Girlfriend jokes: We all know how a relationship can go. Sometimes everything is perfect while other time it’s just down the crapper. These girlfriend jokes are funny because they take many thing from true relationship and gives them a funny twist. They are much more funny if you had or have a girlfriend or wife, then you know what the punchline means.

Husband and wife jokes: Like girlfriend jokes, you have to have a wife or husband too really understand it fully. These jokes makes fun of the marriage between a woman and man. The funny thing about many jokes here is that they are true. Well do be afraid to get married, a marriage is much more fun than a simple joke.

Jew jokes: Many jokes about Jews have a racist undertone, they focusing on the appearances like their noses, likeness for money, circumcision and most of all the Second World War II. Yes, some of the jokes are brutal and somewhat evil. Nevertheless, a joke is only a joke nothing else. I do not support bad behavior against Jews, or any other, neither am I a racist, or support racism. You are welcome to look at other joke categories if you don’t like these.

Black jokes: Yes I also got jokes about black people. They are funny and racist. These jokes are not for everyone. If your stomach cant handle it. Then choose another category. I got plenty of them, and adding jokes regularly so you allways have some new jokes to enjoy. If you like these kind of jokes, then it's the right place.

Mexican jokes: Like the jokes about Jews, these are also somewhat racist. Jokes about Mexicans are focusing about poverty, stupidity and crime. While Mexicans are like all other people, they got a bad reputation because some people have to feel good about them self by belittle others. Nevertheless, I have lot of Mexican jokes you will laugh about.

Chuck Norris jokes: Ever seen the television series Walker, Texas Ranger? Yeah I got a whole categorie devoted to Chuck Norris. They are pretty funny. Never cross Chuck Norris, he will deliver a roundhouse kick to your face!

Stupid jokes: Like everything, there is also stupid jokes. These joke have bad punchlines, or the meaning of the jokes is just too obvious. Nevertheless they are still funny in their own way. If you like corny humor, then you’re likely to love these jokes.

Old people jokes: Old people have so much life experience that they sometimes can say or do weird things. They tried all the things they wanted to and do not give a shit for anybody else. These old man jokes paint a comical picture about their life. Although they are funny, there is a bit truth in them all, everybody can learn from.

Pregnant jokes: Pregnancy can be pretty harsh for some women. They throw up, their body hurts and hormones are raging in their bodies. These jokes focus most about woman who say or do weird things. Some of them are also about the man how got these women pregnant.

Blonde jokes: Blonde jokes are classics among all other jokes here. Although there is no scientific evidence that blonde’s are any different then another. Nevertheless, they have the reputation for being stupid and thinking much with their legs spread apart. Read the funny blonde jokes right here!

Adult jokes: Here you will find some pretty bold and sassy jokes. These jokes are not for everyone, some of them will require a bit special humor. Nevertheless they are both funny and got some kick to them. Enjoy the great list of adult jokes.

Roses are red violets are blue jokes: Roses are red is actually a poem, through time they have been made in many different forms. Here you will find “Roses are red” jokes with a punch line that still rimes and got some sort of twist. Roses are red jokes are focusing most about some form for love and romance.

Racist jokes: Well the word racist says it all. Although I am not a racist and do not support such behavior, the racist jokes can be pretty funny. Here you will see racist jokes about many different people from different countries. These are actually quite popular among all other jokes.

Dirty jokes: Dirty jokes have sexual undertones and are not for everyone. I know that I have children visiting this site, and must therefore refer them to other joke categories. I do not take responsibility for any discomfort your children may have by reading dirty jokes. It is the parent responsibility to guide their children what they may or may not read and see on this site.

Yo mama jokes: Yo mama jokes are also a classics like the blonde jokes. Here I have jokes who have the only purpose to denigrate mothers. They will focus most about weight, appearance and intelligence in a bad way. A popular example could be taken from the comedy movie “The Nutty Professor” where Eddie Murphey compete with a man on the stage in a club about how ugly, fat and stupid his mothers are. Yo mama jokes are both funny and wicked.

Jokes for kids: Here I have some mild jokes, specially selected for children. Many of these jokes here on “The-Funny-jokes.com” are funny yes, but also not for children. A decision was made to give the children their own category so they also can have something to laugh about. I welcome all children to this category.

Knock knock jokes: Knock knock jokes are a bit special. They don’t have a real punchline, but uses a form of “call and response” where the response contains a pun. Most of the jokes make use of people names and incorporates the name in some sort of a pun in the end. If you like knock knock jokes, then proceed over to the right joke category.

Condom jokes and rhymes: Condom jokes are not only funny, but also has the function to young people who are exploring their sexual side with partners to use protection. Many of these jokes provide a fun and humorous knowledge in a much more serious issue.

Bad jokes and one liners: Bad can be interpreted as "bad bad" and "good bad". These jokes are so bad that they actually becomes good. Are you in for som "bad" jokes and one liners, then it's your pitstop. I hope you'll enjoy them, it took me quit some time to assemble this list.

Lesbian jokes: You will find these joke funny and somewhat rude. They make fun of the way some lesbians can be. And no I personally don't have anything against lesbians. They jokes are created to be enjoyed nothing more.

Star wars jokes: Never seen a Star wars movie or read one of the books? Well, then these jokes probably wont make any sense. But for those who are fans, or just have seen the movies, well this is a different matter. These Star wars joke are just great. They are witty and hilarious. read them with some friends or family. Remember to share.

Short jokes: Do you have trouble remembering jokes? Perhaps because they are too long or possibly complicated. Fear not, I have a very special category for you. I'm talking of course about Short jokes. They are fun and easy to remember.

Clean jokes: Do you not care about the jokes that demean others, might have a condescending tone or racist. I can reassure you with these clean jokes. They are down to earth and still funny, and your children can also enjoy them.

Christmas jokes: Ahh Christmas, what a great time of year, especially for kids. I've added a whole category containing only jokes about Christmas. I hope you'll enjoy them as many others have.

Offensive jokes: Offensive jokes are quite popular these days. Keep in mind that these are only for fun and that is not meant anything personal with them. Read them, enjoy them and laugh.

One liner jokes: Are you looking for jokes that almost only consists of one line, look no further. Here you will find a long list of one liner jokes.

Dead baby jokes: I am a father of two children, this is why the category was a bit strange to me to create. These jokes are all about dead babies. Yes weird I know, just dont ask. For those who have requested them, enjoy them.

White people jokes: Short but great list with jokes about white people. They are funny and somewhat true. They are a bit hard to find, but I will add more as soon as I find some. There is of course the possibility that you guys will submit some funny jokes about white people. Remember this site should be fun and anyone should enjoy the content of this page.

Other fun


Riddles: “A riddle is a statement or question or phrase having a double or veiled meaning, put forth as a puzzle to be solved.” We humans are by nature curious; we would like to have answers to most things. With riddles, we have exactly this opportunity and come up with our own solutions to the specific riddle.

Quotes: “Quotation is the repetition of someone else’s statement or thoughts.” This is a very square and precise explanation. Quotes today are used to show some truth or interpretation of life in a smart, funny or thoughtful way. There are many different quotes from all parts of the world. I have chosen to display different kind of quotes, where you can choose your favorite among the many.

Insults: Looking for insults? Well look no futher. Here you will find great selection of different insults orginized in categories. I got them all, the clever, mean, funny ones, ect. Got any yourself this site is lacking, well dont be shy. Submit it, so others may enjoy it aswell.

Pick up lines: Need any help getting the one you like? Well your prayer is heard, we got 16 different categories of great pick up lines just for you. Pick one or more and try them out. We love to hear your experience and if you got the girl or guy you wanted. God luck out there.

It is an honor

We are honored for the support, mails and praises we get for this site. We especially receive mail with 5 repeated questions.

1. What are some funny jokes?
There is no answer to this question, because we all have different taste in jokes, some like clean jokes others may fancy dirty jokes. They way to find some funny jokes that you like is simple. “Seek and you shall find. “ We got different categories with lot jokes, so take a pick and go ahead.

2. Funny what do you call jokes?
“What do you call” jokes is a whole category in itself. These jokes begins with a question while the answer is the punch line. Here are 3 different “What do you call” jokes for you:

- What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta!

- What do you call sad coffee?"
Despresso.

- What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!

3. Funny doctor who jokes?
Doctor Who is a British science fiction television program produced by the BBC. The program shows the adventures of the Doctor, one Time Lord - a time-traveling humanoid alien takes on. He explores the universe in his TARDIS, a sentient time-traveling spacecraft. The first episode produced was back in 1963, so yeah it´s a massive television program. We don´t have a “doctor who” joke category at the moment, perhaps in the future.

4. Funny why did the chicken cross the road jokes?
“Why did the chicken cross the road” jokes is also a category. We don´t have it at the moment, and we are not sure if we going to add it to this site. It depends on the demand of this.

5. What are funny jokes?
“What are funny jokes?” It is certainly one of the stranger questions we have received. All jokes are funny, in some way. Not for all but for some. Like mentioned in the first section, we have all different taste for what is fun and what is not fun. Read different categories of jokes, we are sure you will quickly find out which one you like best.

A small request.


Whether it's a jokes, quote, riddle or pun your interest lies in, I have small request for you all. I maintain and expand this website regularly, but I am only one man and cannot do it all by myself. If you find funny material, you see fit for this website, then submit without hesitation. I will be happy to put it up here on the website so others will be able to enjoy it as you have. You can submit it by using this form. I appreciate all the help I can get!

Have a nice day.