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Great insults

Great insultsIf you’re looking for great insults then you come to the right place. Do you know someone who is annoying, select your favorite insult and demean the person so that he is never going to annoy you again.

  • You fail, so did your dads condom.
  • You grow on people….so does cancer.
  • I have way more important things to do than thinking about what you have to say to me.
  • Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?



  • If you want a good comeback you should go lick your mums face.
  • I would insult you back but Mother Natures has already done such a fine job, I just couldn’t compete.
  • You’re so stupid that you had to call 411 to get the number for 911.
  • I’m a lot better than what you have to look at in the mirror every morning.
  • You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
  • I thought I said goodbye to you this morning when I flushed the toilet.
  • If I were a dog and you were a flower I’d lift up my leg and give you a shower.
  • Funny you should call me an ugly bitch, your daddy likes to call me princess and other beautiful names, while he is dry humping my leg.
  • Is that perfume or marinade?
  • So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
  • More of the Great insults

  • Shut up, I’m not your mirror.
  • How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
  • You’re spreading rumors about me? At least you found a hobby spreading something other than your legs.
  • I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
  • Zombies are looking for brains. Don’t worry. You’re safe.
  • Better at sex than anyone? Now all you need is a partner.
  • Don’t get your panties in a bunch!
  • Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
  • Dont let your mind wander, it’s far too small to be out by itself.
  • Your ugly – and your living proof that abortion should be legal.
  • Learn from your parents mistakes, use birth control.
  • Do they make those pants in men’s sizes?
  • Keep rolling your eyes. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
  • I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.
  • Why do you even wear a bra? You have nothing to put it in.



  • It’s scary to think that people like you are allowed to vote.
  • Out of millions of sperm, you were the fastest?
  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
  • I like you, you remind me of how it feels after I drop a huge deuce in the toilet.
  • The smartest thing that ever came out your mouth was a penis.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • You’d better hide, the garbage collecter is coming.
  • I know I’m talking like an idiot. I have to, other wise you wouldn’t understand me.
  • So you’ve changed your mind? Does this one work any better?
  • Shouldn’t you be out on a ledge somewhere?
  • Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
  • You’re not stupid, your just possessed by a retarded ghost.
  • The last 15 of the Great insults

  • Why don’t you go play in traffic?
  • I’m fat because every time I did your mom she gave me a cookie.
  • Shut up, you’ll never be the man your mother is!
  • Some babies were dropped on their heads but clearly you were thrown at the wall.
  • Nice outfit. Go stand on a street corner, you could make some money.
  • If you’re going to act like a turd, go lie in the yard.
  • Has anybody ever told you that you are incredibly average?
  • I wish I had a lower I.Q,  maybe then I could enjoy your company.
  • This is why people talk about you when you’re not around.
  • I don’t have the time or energy to sink to your level; you have a nice day though.
  • I’m busy now, can I ignore you another time?
  • I would answer you back but life is too short, just like your d*ck.
  • I may be fat but you’re ugly and at least I can loose weight.
  • You have a remarkable grasp of the obvious.
  • I dont care what everybody says about you, i think your good guy.




Although I am proud of this list, I would like to say that there is a need to be cautious. Have you ever been bullied or seen others being bullied? Well this is how it starts, they say nasty things to a person such as these insults and it never stops. So be careful how you use them and at whom. These insults can make others sad and angry. If you are unlucky then you risk being slaped or beaten. Do not pick a fight you cant handle. And remember to treat other people as you want to be treated.

Other categories of insults

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